Your first munch: what to expect and what to wear
Practical answers for first-timers: what to wear, what to say, whether to use your real name, and how to leave gracefully.
Before you go
- Read the listing. Some munches ask for an RSVP so the host can book a table.
- Pick a name. First names or nicknames are normal, and nobody will ask for more.
- Eat something if you're nervous. Low blood sugar makes everything harder.
What to wear
Whatever you'd wear to meet friends at that venue. Jeans are fine. The point of a munch is that it's indistinguishable from any other table in the room.
What to say
"Hi, it's my first time" is the only line you need. Hosts hear it every month and they like hearing it.
You don't have to share what you're into, and nobody should ask in detail. If someone pushes, that tells you about them, not about munches. Mention it to the host.
Reasonable worries
- Will I see someone I know? Possibly. They're there too, so discretion is mutual.
- Will I be pressured? At a well-run munch, no. If you are, leave, and tell the organizer afterwards.
- Do I have to stay? An hour is plenty. Say thanks to the host and go.
After
Go a second time. The first visit is orientation. The second is when people remember you, and when it starts being fun.
Ready to find one? See what's on, pick your city, or take the BDSM test for a short list of places that fit.